Yesterday was my second meeting with the Mental Health team nurse, another fact-findng one. I’d written a ‘mood diary’ – detailed, not just scored 1-10 – so handed that over. Writing it was illuminating to me in that some of the stuff that came out was quite revealing. A lot of partially suppressed stuff was brought up to the surface from a very dark place where it had lain all but undisturbed for decades.
The diary showed that in any day my moods were all over the place; from low to high, to mixed, often within the same hour.
This meeting was exhausting, as was the first. 80 minutes or so, discussion and her making a decision as to whether or not I should be referred on to Primary Care with a recommendation for diagnosis and (hopefully) treatment. The nurse said she would be referring me, that I should get an appointment within a couple of months, and everything would continue from there.
As to what ‘continue from there’ means, I really don’t know. It all depends on the diagnosis I suppose. I’ve said I’m not keen on a medication-based treatment, so that leaves some kind of therapy?
I have another meeting with her in 3 weeks time; this isn’t necessary for the process but was offered as an interim ‘therapy’ I assume. An opportunity to talk about my issues with someone who understands such issues better than most other people. And after all, I have no-one else around me to discuss all this with. I’ve driven all those away in an effort to control abandonment concerns.