Mood Diary

For my 2nd assessment meeting I handed over a detailed ‘Mood Diary’ I was asked to keep. I think the psych. meant a simple chart with a 1=low, 10=high thing. But it didn’t quite work out like that..

“2pm

Coming down now after a few days. Now feel edgy, anxious, slightly confused and have a headache.

I was asked about delusions.. I have one that I have always had but which has been more frequent the past several months. I have moments when I think that perhaps this life isn’t real and that at some point I had a serious accident, or shock (I am almost too frightened to consider it might involve my son) and am perhaps in a coma imagining all this.

If I talk about it now it sounds like a story, but when it happens I believe it totally for a short time until I can snap out of it.

I am thinking again about something I have sort of believed in all my life: solipsism. Also, photos of me, my reflection in mirrors, they have never looked like me.

Mood coming down: always introspective, examining, tired.

* * *

6pm

Coming down still, tired and moderately low. Washing up, started thinking of the day my mum died and I found myself considering how sensible it would be to end my own life. A fleeting idea, soon passed. No particular importance given to the thought, I was also listening to the radio at the time.

6.30pm

Anxious, nauseous.

9pm

Stable, mildly low. Buzzing has turned into slight trembling in arms and legs. Anxiety, nausea.
11pm

Very tired. Will be awake in a few hours. Mood stable, ‘normal’.”

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