Finally, the day is here

Secondary Care assessment and diagnosis appointment this morning.

25 mins late going in, for their first appointment of the week.. doesn’t bode well. Spent 90 mins with an OT who asked almost all of the questions, and a psych doctor who wrote reams of notes.

Conclusion? Who knows? They like to ask ‘what treatment do you want?’ I tell them: ‘I don’t know, whatever’s best and works. That’s your job! I wouldn’t let you do my job but I wouldn’t expect to do yours either.’

I made a stab at a guess: medication to get me stable then off it as soon as possible and some kind of therapy. He said ‘you’re not far off there’. I was ‘off’ with the ‘coming off drugs asap’ bit it seems…

I pushed for a ‘label’ for diagnosis but they wouldn’t say. Apparently the thing these days is not to use labels as it’s not about a name but a treatment. *yawn

He said: ‘there are a few things going on here.’ They focussed a lot on anxiety as a symptom and a trigger. I hope they don’t do what our Ed Psychs do when they’ve filled their ASD quota and diagnose ‘Anxiety’. I will have to wait to see a consultant now for medication. That won’t be this year..

So again, like the past 8 weeks, I have no help to call on, no treatment. I’m on my own, same as it ever was these past 35 years.

Secondary care assessment & diagnosis

The waiting is almost over.. possibly. Having presented myself to my GP in early July this year and handed over a letter detailing my lifelong (I am in my 50s) undiagnosed and untreated mental illness, my Secondary Care assessment and diagnosis appointment is next Monday.

I haven’t been to work this week, just couldn’t leave the house. Particularly having slept so very little; racing thoughts, agitated, OCD at 2am and every hour thereafter.

If you’ve been following my random posts on this blog you’ll have heard me say that this diagnosis is almost certain to be one of Bipolar II, possibly with some other issues.

Since I was discharged by Primary Care (after a few appointments) 6-8 weeks ago (because Secondary- had taken me on) I have had no support at all but my health continues to decline quite markedly. Hence the reason for my GP visit.

Actually there was advice, of sorts, to tide me over: ‘if in crisis, go to A&E or ring the Samaritans.’

Needless to say, this hasn’t been any comfort to me during these weeks of ups, downs and – more frequently – mixed states. They’re the most dangerous of course, as you’ll probably know.

So, next Monday.

See you on the other side!