Black

Went into town yesterday, bought 6 identical-ish black shirts from charity shops. One day last week I bought 3 more, having decided that although I never wear shirts, I would for the rest of my life wear only black shirts. You’ve got to see the funny side of ‪#‎bipolar‬

black shirts-tiltshift

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Suicidal

Suicidal today, but that’s OK. Isn’t it? I mean.. when did such ideation become, for me, normal? Well, a normality of sorts.

I imagine there’s a Suicide Machine. Or rather, a strip of three buttons:

3 buttons

 

 

 

 

Yes                   Maybe later             No

One would deliver instant painless death; no fripperies or fandangos. One would register a Meh, why not? I’ll think about it some more and get back to you. And one is No way, Jose!

Most mood situations, however complex bipolar can be at times (well, actually more often than not), can be resolved by pushing one of the three buttons. (I’m reminded of Alice’s Drink Me.)

Today was Maybe later, though for brief moments, it was Yes.

Welcome to normality, boyo.